Okay here is Hearts Ch. 18 teaser. Sorry it took a little longer than I anticipated. Didn't mean to leave you hanging so long ;)
Enjoy
*
Across
the area, the Vârcolac stopped, turning to face the direction of the mountains.
“LILY!”
Kallum’s cry was agonized, terror filling his soul as he opened his mind to
connect with his sister.
He
heard Liam cry out beside him, Karn swearing loudly and yelling something he
couldn’t understand. He was vaguely aware of Liam falling to the ground,
clutching at his head. Karn was rushing to him as he rolled over to his side,
three Praetorians following closely.
“Make
it stop! Make it stop!” The redheaded Vârcolac writhed in agony as emotions
cascaded over him, assaulting him from every direction. The sound of his cries
was almost as heart breaking as the screaming going on inside Kallum’s mind.
“Elina, help Liam now!” Kallum bit out the order, his mind focused on
his sister, as one by one, the others joined him in their mental link, feeling
Lily’s terror as she fell. He spared a fraction of a second looking back at his
friend, wishing he could help in some way but knowing Lily needed him more.
“Karn,
get the others back from him. He’s overloaded. Elina’s on her way.” He turned
and began to speed away from the compound.
“Where
the fuck are you going? What’s going on?” Karn roared after the departing
figure, signaling men to follow the Vârcolac though he knew they had no hope of
keeping up with him. But Kallum was already out of earshot and it was Liam who
answered him.
“Lily’s
dying,” he sobbed, anguish in his voice. “Lily’s dying…”
Karn’s
heart stopped for a handful of beats and then he was roaring at the other
Praetorians. “Find her! Protect the Vârcolac!” He couldn’t leave Liam
unprotected to find out what had happened to Lily, and Kallum had said Elina
was on her way to help her cousin, so he had to stay at the compound.
Kallum
heard Liam’s words resounding in his mind and denial raged through his soul.
“No!” he screamed, speeding through the trees towards his sister’s last known
location, knowing he was too far away to do anything but refusing to believe he
was losing her. Within his mind he heard his mother screaming and the roar his
father let out as they realised what was happening.
“No! Save her, Kal. Save her!” His mother’s pleas broke his heart and sent an
added burst of speed pulsing through him.
“Lily. Lily.” He sent to her repeatedly,
willing her to respond as he raced up the mountainside. Resounding screams
filled his mind as everyone cried out to his sister. It was too late, he knew
it was, and yet he kept running, faster and faster.
*****
Time
seemed to move in slow motion, Lily’s fall from the mountain taking an
eternity. Mac was in her head, crying out to her. She could feel his grief;
feel his heart breaking as she fell slowly through the air. Kallum called to
her, Dara and Cassia, her parents, Elina, Rafe and Annie. They were all there
in her mind, reaching out in terror but all she could hear clearly was Mac.
“Live!” One word called repeatedly. She
wanted to live for him but surely even a Vârcolac couldn’t survive a fall from
this height. Even if she did, she would lose the baby.
“I’m sorry. So sorry.”
Why
was it taking so long to fall? Each second seemed to last an hour, drawing out
the terror in her heart, the anguish of listening to all the emotions crowding
her mind. Was it cowardly to want oblivion? Lily collided with an overhanging
rock, banging her head hard. The impact hurt, blood beginning to flow from her
head, blurring her vision as dizziness over took her. Her vision swam
sickeningly then darkness descended.
“Lily! Stay with me, Lily, please, stay with
me!” Mac’s anguished cry was
the last thing she heard.
*****
Kothari
snarled, rage suffusing him as he connected telepathically with Lily. He was
with her as she plummeted down the mountain, so close and yet he felt as if he
was so far away. He had been halfway up the mountain, still in panther form,
when he heard her scream and looked up to see the disaster playing out above
him.
Linked
with his fellow Vârcolac, he could hear them screaming to their friend, the
sound of Dara’s agonised crying more than he could stand. If there was one
thing on the planet that he just wouldn’t tolerate, it was knowing she was
hurting. He had a split second to act, to co-ordinate his timing. He would have
done it for Lily regardless, but he was more motivated to succeed because his
angel was weeping. He had to be in time. He just had to!
Lily’s
chaotic thoughts suddenly disappeared from his mind and fear pulsed through his
body, his and everyone joined with him. He knew she hadn’t reached the bottom
yet because she hadn’t passed him. He could still see her above him and a
little to to the left.
Mac
was screaming from above, his words echoing in the valley. Kothari had never
heard such pain from someone before, couldn’t begin to imagine how much
Mackenzie’s heart was breaking being powerless to save his mate. He put on a
burst of speed, sighting an outcropping on the other side and just beneath him.
If he timed this right…
Lily’s
form was limp as it neared, moving at incredible speed. Could he do it? He had
no idea, but he was the closest so he had to try. He tensed, waited for a beat
of five and then sprang forward. His body slammed hard into Lily, pushing her
sideways with a speed almost as fast as her descent downwards. They both spun
fast towards the outcropping. It looked like they might make it.
Kothari
shifted in mid-air, wrapping one arm around Lily as soon as he did, the other
reaching for the bushes on the small ledge. He caught them and twisted his
body, slamming into the rock face with his back, dangling precariously. He was
able to take the brunt of the impact as Lily groaned, consciousness beginning
to return. Blood was pouring from a deep wound in her head, her face a mask of
red.
She
hung limp in his grasp, their combined weight too much for the feeble roots on
the ledge. They began to come away, causing Kothari to hiss loudly.
“Move,
Lily! Grab the ledge. These bushes can’t support both our weight.”
The
sound of his voice seemed to shake Lily further into consciousness. Her eyes
fluttered open blindly, and then the roots snapped further, forcing them to
drop a few inches.
“Lily,
I can’t hold us both!” Kothari yelled.
Lily
scrambled in confusion, reaching up blindly and finding the hard edge of rock
just as the bushes gave way. They rent from the rock in a sickening sound,
sending Kothari downwards. “Kothi!”
Throwing
out her free hand, Lily reached for him, catching his shoulder as he fell. For
a moment, only Lily’s grip on the rock was what held them suspended and then
Kothi’s hand snaked up and grabbed the ledge. He pulled himself up quickly,
landing agilely in a crouch and grasping Lily’s arms tightly to pull her up
beside him. There was just enough room on the ledge for both of them. For a
moment, they simply sat there leaning against the cold rock face, breathing
hard, the sounds of their thumping hearts loud in their ears.
“Kothi.
Oh God, Kothi.” The words stammered out of Lily’s mouth, fear and disbelief
making her voice quiver. The sensation of falling was still surrounding her,
Mac screaming her name as the ground gave way, everyone’s screams resounding in
her head.
“It’s
okay, Lily. You’re okay.” Kothari pulled her trembling body into his arms as
shock kicked in and she began to shake and sob. He could sense Dara in his mind
along with the others, she was still weeping for Lily. He had to reassure her.
“I’ve got her. She’s fine. A little shaken up
but she’ll be okay.” He sent
the message down all mental bonds, feeling the collective sigh of relief that
went up from everyone. “Give her a little
time. She’s a bit shocked right now.”
*****
Kallum
reached Mac just as his message came through. The Praetorian was on his hands
and knees screaming for Lily at the cliff’s edge. He had never seen Mackenzie
so out of control before, a wildness to him that was frightening. “Kothi has
her, Mac,” he called; afraid they’d lose the vampire over the edge of the cliff
too he sounded so desperate.
“The
black thing? I saw something black crash
into her and then they were out of sight.” Wild eyes met his, pleading in them.
“She’s okay, isn’t she? Please say she’s okay.”
“Lily, please Lily, tell me you’re okay.” He sent the message down their mate bond. His
heart wouldn’t stop pounding, fear an acrid taste in his mouth. Lily had to be
okay. Anything else was just unimaginable. His vision swam from the tears
falling, the horror of watching her fall playing in vivid colour in his mind.
Kallum
nodded, his own heart barely starting to beat normally at the scare they’d had.
He couldn’t begin to imagine how Mackenzie felt watching his mate fall. “She’s
fine, a little scared but unharmed. Just give her a moment. She took a knock to
the head.” He did his best to reassure Mac even though his protective instincts
were now rearing up and his eyes turned hard as he regarded his sister’s mate.
Now
that Lily was safe, the adrenaline was fading and leaving endless questions in
its place. His sister had almost lost her life and she’d been alone with her
mate at the time. It was unheard of for mates to hurt each other but there was
always a first time for everything. Lily had told him Mac didn’t want to have
any children. Had the vampire tried to get rid of the baby? He hated thinking
like that but he had to know. “What the hell happened, Mac?”
Mackenzie
shook his head, trying to calm his heart and shake the image of Lily falling
from his mind. He’d never been so scared in his life watching the ledge crumble
and his Lily vanish before him. He dragged a shaky hand through his hair as he
stood up, not oblivious to the subtle accusation in Kallum’s voice.
He
didn’t blame him. If Lily had been alone with someone else when she fell, he
would be equally as suspicious and demand answers. “She was too close the edge.
She was coming to me and then it just crumbled beneath her. I couldn’t get to
her in time, Kallum. I tried, but I just couldn’t get to her.”
There
was so much guilt in his tone that Kallum softened. Everyone had just had the
fright of their life and they needed to let everyone work through that. Mackenzie's
expression, the anguish in his eyes and voice as he spoke told him all he
needed to know. He hadn’t tried to hurt his sister. It had been an accident and
the main thing was Lily was safe.
He
leaned over the ledge and looked down trying to sight his sister and his
friend. “They’re further down than up. I’ll tell them to make their way down
and we’ll meet them at the bottom.”
He
turned to find Mac already heading for the trail down. Shooting a quick message
off to Kothi, he followed him, jogging to catch up. “It’ll take them a little
while to get down. Lily needs to get herself together before they can start.
Take your time, Mac. This has been a shock to all of us.”
He
reached down his bond to his parents. “Mom,
Dad, Lily’s fine. Let her have a bit of time to recover from the fright. I’m
sure she’ll be in touch soon.”
“Who do I need to kill?” The cold determination in Andrei’s tone was
frightening.
“No one, Dad. The ledge crumbled, it was an
accident. I’ll ask Karn to get some of the Praetorians up here to check the
place out and make sure no one gets too close to the edge again.”
Kallum
broke off contact with them, sending his mother a soothing kiss. That would hold
them for a while and give Lily and Mac some space. It was plain the vampire
needed to be alone with his mate judging from the speed that he was moving and
the expression on his face. “Is now a good time to say congratulations?” He
deliberately injected humour into his voice, trying to lighten the sombre mood.
Mac
shot him a quick look and then stopped, taking a deep breath. “If I hadn’t been
such an ass none of this would have happened,” he ground out.
“You
need to stop that before we get to Lily, Mac. She needs you, her and the baby
both. Wallowing in guilt will not help the issue. We can all look back and
think if only we’d done something differently. The thing is we didn’t and
events happened. Let’s all just be grateful Lily’s safe.”
He
clapped him on the shoulder and walked past him, turning to look over his
shoulder. “Though, if my sister throws herself off a cliff again to get away
from you, I am going to rip you to
pieces. Just thought I should let you know that.”
“If
Lily ever does anything like this again, I won’t even put up a fight, Kal.” Mac
continued on down at his side, his thoughts solely on Lily, and how he could
make this up to her.
To be continued...
wow......put d full chap fast ,,cant w8 to read d whole thing.....
ReplyDeleteYour stories are awesome! The cliffhangers keep me coming back for more. Thanks for sharing your talent with me.
ReplyDeleteWhew!!!! OMG you're good. My heart hasn't stopped pumping yet; trying to remember to breathe...
ReplyDeleteHOLY COW! I was SHAKING! That was AWESOME!!!
ReplyDeleteSo good dear! You are truly talented in both writing and cliffhangers!
ReplyDeleteOk, I'm sorry to be the one to disagree with the other comments, but you can do much better, Jaz. First of all, Lilly is too smart to just lose it and so something as stupid as standing so close to the edge of a high cliff, whether she knew it was unstable or not. Second, vampires are supposed to be super-fast and Vârcolac even more so; shouldn't she have been able to jump to safety a split second after the rock started moving? And third, the way you described vampires (and, again, Vârcolac are supposed to be their betters in every way), they wouldn't die from something as trivial as a fall, however long it is. And we already know that Vârcolac fetuses are tough, as well. So I just can't buy that Lilly was in that much danger or that the other Vârcolac would freak like that.
ReplyDeleteYou're a very creative writer so I was used to more than this. Again, sorry if I'm being too critical.
Hi Simona,
DeleteI'm sorry you're not enjoying this story as much as the others. You are right that I could do better if I haven't managed to convey the distress Lily was in during this moment of her life.
It's not a case of Lily lacking intelligence but instead her mental state as well as physical state in these scenes. The initial pregnancy for Vacorlac as well as the mixed matings (The Council) has an extemely violent impact on the mother's body as the child begins its life. Loretta was particularly ill during the Council when she first became pregnant and it was touched on with Cedar too towards the end of that story.
Lily was extremely weakened physically as well as mentally. Her thought processes were muddled, she'd cut herself off from everyone who could potentially help her and she was at a place where she thought she had to choose between her mate and her child. I thought I had conveyed that quite well but it light of your comments possibly I hadn't.
Also, I have never said the Vacorlac are indestructable. Yes, they are a step up on the evolutionary ladder from vampires and Weres but they can still die like everyone else. Hence the reason they have been overprotected all their lives, why there is such concern about the poison created in Europe and why Kallum had his moment when he almost took Lily's head when they were sparring.
The Vacorlac can die and up to this point none of them had ever been in a position where they'd fallen off a cliff. Nobody knew if a Vacorlac could survive that, let alone a child at so early a stage of its existence. Like vampires, Vacorlac can die from losing their heads or being burnt alive (or when they're already dead). My apologies if I somehow conveyed otherwise.
I hope this answers some of your points. And no worries about being critical :) Everybody takes different things from a story when they read it. I'm sorry this one isn't meeting your expectations the way you would like it too.
Jaz
One Point here. When you try to write something whole new story next time, try to remove the existing continents and create your own space. Your are very creative, talented, Proficient and who else can i say. I like your writings but i love your style of writing. :)
DeleteRegards
Lio
You are KILLING me here... I so want the rest AND the next chapter... Pretty pretty please with LOTS of sugar on top?? ;)
ReplyDeleteWas Kothi described as "that black thing" because he was moving so fast he was a blur even to Mac's vampire vision, or did he shift into something unknown?
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to read the rest! You rock!!!!!
Cheers,
Nicole
Kothi was described as "that black thing" because he was shifted into his panther form (a big black cat).
ReplyDeleteJaz, I absolutely love the way you're developing Kothari. His internal anguish is tugging on my heart strings, and quickly escalating him into another of your epic tragic cases...Like Dayton, Freya, Andrei, Ashleigh; I love these characters that you create with part of themselves broken and only their true mate able to bring them peace...It gives me hope.
There are only a few things in this story so far that have disappointed me a little bit. I love your writing, and it's hard for me to find criticism (God knows, I've reread the other chapters so many dozens of times that they are almost memorized by now.) First and foremost, would have to be how easily Mackenzie switched gears into wanting this baby; You spent 16 chapters reinforcing how totally devastated he was by Sophia's death and couldn't bear the thought of another child; then in only a few paragraphs, all is right with his world, he's fine with being a dad. I do realize that the decision of not having another child VS losing Lily was an instant one, because he couldn't stand the thought of losing the other half of his soul. It just seemed a little fast. I'm also surprised that he calmed so quickly when Kothi rescued Lily; I was really expecting Kallum to have to step up in an Alpha role there to get him to listen to reason. Perhaps that's just wishful thinking on my part, since you've carefully developed Kallum into a latent Alpha that is going to absolutely eclipse any Alpha we've seen before, and I can't wait to have that image of him in all his furious glory etched into my mind.
I will admit though, the first 2/3 of this teaser had me holding my breath with tears in my eyes. You've an amazing talent, and every single character in this world you've created has a depth and clarity that blows my mind. I'm drawn to you, and your stories; there are few authors that I've ever read that have the ability to make me close my eyes and picture their creations crystal clear in my mind's eye. Thank you, for this world you've given us =)
When will the whole story be put up? I'm dying to read it!! I cannot imagine what will happen next! I hope it is a long chapter! That last one was way too short! :)
ReplyDeleteJaz - I have loved every single word you have written, thank you so much for being generous enough to share your talent. You give me something to look forward to when the days get boring.. thank you thank you thank you. I am glad Lily was saved.. looking forward to learing more about Kothi and Dara and Karn and Elina.. you keep me captivated!
ReplyDeleteJaz , on on hand, i 'm so happy for you that you will be publishing ( notice that I didnt say try to publish coz your FTI stories are just too awesome for words, so how could any publisher say no!) BUT on the other hand, i'm so sad that we will not get more stories from you for months!!!!
ReplyDeletePlease keep your fans posted on your publishing progress. Wish you the best of luck. I say you deserve as much success as EL James if not more.
The FTI Stories are being published?
ReplyDeleteWe won't ge getting anymore chapters on Lit after the Hearts of Worriers series is done?
We won't be hearing from you for many months???
Please give me more info. Anybody....?
Thanks, Nicole
Check out Jazcullen's bio page on Lit .....
Delete