Mistress of Shadows' FTI Parody Contest Entry

Fighting the Inevitable Ch. 09 Parody

"Millie, for the love of God will you please calm down?!" Jared yelled, as he ducked another flying saucepan and tried to work out the best way to get to his irate mate without allowing her to do him any bodily harm. He was dressed in just his jeans, the only thing he'd taken time to pull on as he chased her out of the bedroom.

He was mentally kicking himself. Maybe, he should have waited to tell her he was a wolf. Coming so soon after their first time together, it was probably too much for her to take in. He tried moving around to her right side, but she tracked him swiftly and another saucepan barely missed his head.

He couldn't stop the wide grin which crossed his handsome face. His woman was an excellent aim. She'd managed to get him with most of her throws. It was only the last two he'd been able to avoid and barely at that. She was glorious to behold, and he felt his wolf try to surface at her aggressiveness. It would be easy to let him out again. He'd tackle her and bring her down and force her to submit.

"You're a fucking animal!" Millie shrieked at him. "You took me to bed, and you're a fucking animal!"

Jared stifled down a deep sigh. "Baby, come on, it's not that bad," he pleaded. "I know it was a bit of a shock me changing like that, but you wouldn't believe me when I just told you. I had to get you to see I was telling you the truth. Didn't you like my wolf? He certainly likes you, Millie. In fact, he adores you, as much as I do."

Her final saucepan caught him square on the chest, and he muttered an oath, as he felt his anger starting to rise. This was really getting beyond a joke now. The bloody pans hurt!

"You should have told me BEFORE you had sex with me!" Millie screamed. "I deserved the right to make a fucking choice whether or not I slept with a fucking animal!" Frustrated at having no more saucepans to throw, she looked around for something else and came up with the knives in the butcher's block.

Jared cursed when her hand wrapped around the handle of a particularly large carving knife. That was really going to hurt if she stuck it in him. It probably wouldn't kill him, but it would put him out of action for a few days.

"Baby, you're not seriously going to throw that knife at me, are you?" he asked, carefully allowing more of his wolf to come to the fore to give him a faster reaction time if she did throw it.

Millie noticed the change of his stance, as he began stalking toward her. Catching the feral gleam in his eyes, she felt her own gaze narrow. Oh, he wanted to play dirty, did he? Well, if the puppy wanted to come out to play, she had a few tricks up her own sleeve now that she knew what she was up against.

Laying the knife down on the counter, she turned to her spice cabinet. She could feel his predatory gaze on her back like a heated caress as her fingers searched frantically through the jars.

Smiling triumphantly, she spun on her heel, catching him off guard just as he reached for her. Popping the top on the ground pepper container in her hand, she threw the contents in his face.

Jared sucked in a deep breath as she surprised him by turning around quickly when he was only a step away from her. It was the worst possible thing he could have done. His wolf-enhanced senses went into overdrive as his nose was assaulted by the spice, and he actually squeaked in surprise as he backpedaled away from her.

His eyes blinking rapidly in an attempt to clear the water that had sprung up in them, he could just barely make out her image as she became the predator, stalking him across the kitchen. His nose was burning, and he couldn’t help the purely wolf-like response making him bat at his face with his hands in an attempt to get rid of the offending smell.

An evil smile spread across Millie’s face as she uncorked the top of the cayenne pepper container. She could tell from Jared’s scrambling that she’d caught him off guard, and she wanted to make sure to push her advantage. She had exhausted the burst of adrenaline which had coursed through her after Jared changed from a man into an enormous black wolf, scaring the complete shit out of her.

Logically, she knew it was him inside the wolf, could see Jared's eyes staring back at her from the huge beast; she had still screamed in terror and launched herself from the bed, grabbing her robe and slamming the door shut as she ran from the animal. He had followed her of course, but in his man form not as the wolf. She supposed she should have been thankful for that. She was still going to take as much delight as possible out of removing that smug sense of control he’d exhibited since walking through her door.

Jared started sneezing, still backing away from her. He cursed as his hip bounced off of her kitchen table, and cursed even louder when he tripped over the chair he’d dislodged. He’d almost managed to get himself back under control and his vision cleared when a red cloud suddenly appeared in front of his face. His senses went absolutely out of control when the burst of powder hit him, and he lost his balance when he tripped on her magazine rack.

Millie couldn’t help giggling out loud as the pompous ass tripped backwards over her stack of magazines, and both of his feet flew up in the air. He wouldn’t be able to regain much dignity from that, she thought to herself. She advanced steadily on him, the now empty pepper containers forgotten as she basked in her ability to outsmart his canine senses.

Jared finally stilled, having flailed his arms wildly as he tripped and fell unceremoniously on his rump. He could feel his face burning as both of his feet flew up in the air, and his hand bashing into the wall on the way down. As the tears streamed down his face from the effect the cayenne pepper had on his nose, the sound of Millie’s enjoyment finally filtered through.

“Woman, you’re going to be the death of me. Can we talk about this rationally?”

Millie could feel hysterical laughter starting to bubble up inside her. He really thought he was going to talk her down? The idiot really thought she was going to put the spices down and fall into his stupidly sexy arms and tell him she was just fine with having a relationship with a bloody wolf?!

She did have to admit though, that seeing him bust his ass like a normal man was pretty gratifying. She chuckled to herself, and suddenly realized how insane she must look, standing in the middle of her kitchen brandishing a spice arsenal.

"I'm sorry, Millie," he said roughly, rolling over on his stomach so he could push his way back up to his feet. "I know I should have told you before we made love; but you kept avoiding me, and I needed you so badly I couldn't stop myself. I had every intention of telling you before we got to this stage, but things just didn't work out that way."

She raised her head and looked at him. He was a wolf, but he was still Jared. He was still the man who had just worshipped her body and taken her to heaven and back again. He was still the man who arrogantly declared she was his even as he happily admitted that he was hers. She really did need to find out what that meant. It probably had something to do with him being a wolf.

"This being a wolf complicates things, doesn't it?" she asked quietly and saw the truth in his eyes, even as his lips tightened slightly and he nodded his head. She sighed deeply, and he pulled her into his arms pressing her head against his chest. She let him hold her. Hell, she needed him to hold her. She leaned against him for a long moment and wallowed in his strength, as she tried to find some inner balance, then she took a deep breath and stepped back.

"I'm going to have a shower," she said firmly. "When I'm done you are going to tell me absolutely everything, and you'd better not leave a single thing out, Jared. I need to know just what I've gotten myself into here."

"I promise I'll tell you everything, baby," Jared answered brushing her lips gently with his and almost sighing with relief when she not only let him but also returned his light caress.

She headed toward the bathroom, pausing in the doorway and peering back at him with a devilish glint in her eye. “I will try to adjust to your idea of “puppy love”…as long as you’re man enough to realize that when you push me with your inner wolf, my inner “bitch” is gonna push back!” With a cheeky grin, she closed the door behind her.

Jared chuckled to himself. He wondered if she’d remember that remark after he explained how mating with a wolf was going to change her life. She had no idea, yet, just how in tune with her “inner bitch” she was really going to be.