E's FTI Parody

This is not part of the contest, it was a personal incentive I earned from my Canadian for finishing a chapter and made me laugh. Wanted you to enjoy it to :)

* 

The Ancient walked with purpose. His rugged looks and severe expression spoke of thousands of years of hardship. He was Gard, oldest of the old, the eldest vampire in existence. He had lived through countless millennia and survived when others had not. He had seen the fall of the old Kingdom and the rise of the Council. He had been witness to wars upon wars, the rise and fall of civilizations and he stood today proud of that fact.

With each stride he neared his goal, a slow smile creeping across his visage. He thought to himself that his Ancient counterparts thought themselves so strong and invincible. Chuckling to himself he would keep this errand a secret, allow himself a laugh when the inevitable happened.

Reaching his goal, he looked at the target and spoke...  “What aisle is the Fixadent?”

*****

He watched with admiration as he stared down at his son Kothari. He had begged for months on end to allow him a pet, and finally he had relented and allowed his son the privilege. His son sat cross legged on the floor, playing gently with his new kitten, dangling a piece of yarn watching in fascination as the young cat leapt for it.

Gard couldn’t help but smile. This would be a great responsibility for his son, but he would meet this with determination and Gard was confident his son would succeed. 

While his son took care of his own tasks, Gard had his own problems. 

Turning slightly he eyed the other cat on the floor. Rayne was in cat form mewling as she fought with the biggest ball of yarn he could find and had ever seen... How was he going to get his wife away from that yarn...